June turned out like May

Just to clarify, both June and May are NOT any of my girlfriends. I do know people named June and also May, but June did turned out like May.......I blogged only ONCE....

So what happened?

CF's dad passed away and she was constantly taking care of her mom. Things did not turn out well and eventually I decided that I was not comfortable to move forward to a relationship.

So after 4 months, I had decided that at that point of time, she would not be the one I am looking for. Many (and i mean many) people have asked me what happened? So i will blog it here and send them to the blog when they should ask again.....

Lots of things. It was an accumulation of small little things that added up to become a burden to shoulder. It felt stressful when it should have been wonderful.

She consistently asks me if I am able to take care of her financially when I am her boyfriend. She asks if I will love her and 'sayang' her. Of course I will. Then she will tell me, "If you sayang me, and also keep me pretty, will you also finance my clothes and my beauty products? How much are you willing to provide for me, say monthly?"

I answer, "Mmmm....I am not your husband yet wor. Even as boyfriend, it should be minimal."

"But when you are my boyfriend, I will be really ready already. I don't give my heart away simply."

"Let's say about RM1000."

"Really? Ok."

Some days later, the whole conversation will take place again. And again. And again. Finally I decided to bring it down to RM600 to see her reaction.

I said something like, "Oh well, you know actually I have lots of commitment. House loan lah is about RM1000, car loan RM1000, phone bill, home Astro bill, money for my mom, so around RM600."

"RM600, is that minimum or maximum?" she'd ask. I replied, "Oh this is about minimum."

Then she says, "I guess that's ok. Maybe I can get more. Are you sweating already?"

Of course I am, but i say, "No lah, I told you how many times already. Do not worry. I will take good care of you one."

Some days later, she calls up as I am arriving to meet a friend at E-Gate for a cuppa at Starbucks.

At some point, the conversation turns to the above again!....

Of course, a nice guy also has a patience breaking point and I told her sternly and loudly, "I told you already, you don't have to worry and I will take care of you. Why do you keep asking me this question?"

"Are you shouting at me? I don't like the tone of your voice. Do you know that I really try to improve myself. I used to be impatient, now I am trying not to be angry. Why are you shouting at me?"

So replying softly, I say, "Look, why do you want to keep asking this question? I have already told you the answer."

"I am a girl. I have to take care of myself. I must be sure that you are the guy for me. If I don't ask, how will I know you are a good guy. I want to know what type of response you will give. There are many bad guys out there. In fact most of the guys out there are bad. There are only very few who are good. So I want to make sure that you really mean what you say."

I gave that a thought. Then I said, "So you are testing me?"

"Yes."

"I thought you said I cannot test you. You will be unhappy if I test you. But why are you testing me now? What difference is there between you and me?"

There was never an answer to that question. But in my heart I felt this would not work. She gave me the impression, with her words, that she was all for money. And that in testing me in a way gave me the feeling that she had no trust in me. No matter how much I cared for her, tried to answer her, looked for ways to resolve issues....IT WAS A HEADACHE.

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