Cameron Highlands

I went up Cameron Highlands on 4th July. I know…I know…it has been 2 weeks and I am still blogging on it.

But it was great! It was pretty cool. The trip and all and the weather too.

Two cars went up on Friday evening and another three on Saturday morning. I went in the car on the left, though I wish I owned the car in the middle. In total we had like 15 people there.

It was really relaxing. It had been a stressful and eventful week at work. It still was, but I left that all to my manager and engineer. I had, after all, applied the leave for this vacation months ahead.

The weather up there was very cooling and we stayed at the Lutherans Mission Bungalow. Its a very nice, quaint, house at the end of a road. You need to have a lot of faith to know that at the end of THAT road, there would be a bungalow. Otherwise you will not reach it.

We had the following conversation:
Me: Are you sure this is the road?
Tim: Well, it says Lutheran Mission Bungalow at the road sign.
Me: Looks like a jungle to me.
Audrey: Perhaps, its this one!
Tim: No, that’s the KWSP Retreat Bungalow.
Joni: Maybe we all can go. Afterall, we contribute so we should stay there.

All: Hahahaha!
Me: It’s getting very deep. Are you sure this is the road?
Tim: No choice. Lets go further in.
So, we travelled deeper & deeper & deeper into the forest. Finally, a sign! Lutheran’s Missionaries Bungalow.

Here it is….the place:

The first evening, we had dinner at Tanah Rata, followed by Night Market outing in Brinchang. Later on, we settled down into the bungalow and enjoyed fellowship and some games, i.e. Cluedo.
For me, the next morning was the best. I had English breakfast the first time in a long time. There was, eggs (scrambled, poach, napoleon, bull's eye, half-boiled available), tea, coffee, milo, toast, strawberry jam, butter, cereals, milk......It was all YUMMY!!!...

After that, to avoid falling back to bed, I had a game of table tennis with Tim and then we headed out to Boh's Sungai Palas Tea Center. I made sure I had a copy of the Star Newspaper. While there, we strolled around the foliage and bought some tea to drink and cakes to eat. I had Apple Pie.

That evening, it was steamboat for dinner, and also Night Market again.
Sunday was the last day in Camerons.

Breakfast again was splendid, though we had the addition of 9 more people and also Peanut Butter from Goobers.

We visited Kea Farm market for some more shopping before heading down to Ipoh for lunch. Ipoh Bean Sprout chicken (Onn Kei) and dessert of Tau Fu Fah (Tau Hua) ~ Funny Mountain. We also made purchases of Baked Salted Chicken from Aun Kheng Lim to bring back for dinner.

So after a short detour to Ipoh Parade for a purchase of Starbucks Cafe Latte, we made a straight line for Penang.

All in all, a very good and relaxing retreat to Camerons. I’m going again next year. I wonder how many people would come along. At minimum I will need 2 nights.

Here's the gang:

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Spot the Difference

I wanted to see how different I am over 3 years.....

Since 2006, I have gone up to Cameron Highlands at least once a year, so there is a point of reference. My latest outing there was last weekend (4th July).

So, here's a look from the past to the present.....

This is 2006.....Taken at the Boh Tea Plantations at Sungai Palas. It was Penang Governor's Birthday weekend. Day trip.

And this one in 2007. This was taken at the Cactus Valley tourist attraction. May 26th weekend. One night stay at Parkland Apartments.

This is from my latest outing in 2008, taken at the OMF Bungalow. I did not stay there. I stayed at the Lutheran Missionaries. This time it was a 2 night stay.

Any difference? None, right? :) Maybe i definitely look younger....Hahaha :D

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In the end.....

Finally, on one Thursday that I did not have a squash game, I brought her out for dinner.

Now this happened after all the excitement from the previous posts. So i decided to test her.

She gets into the car.

"Hi. How are you today? Where would you like to eat?"

"Hi. The day was ok. You decide."

"No. Tonight you decide. Everytime I have been deciding, I think this one night you decide."

"Is there something wrong? Why are you like that? Tell me what is it that you are not happy with?"

"I am ok. I am just asking you to decide."

"No, from the tone of your voice you are not happy. If you were not happy why did you ask me out to eat? When you ask me out to eat, it should be a happy mood. Why you ask me out to eat when you are not in a good mood? You tell me what is troubling you now."

"I tell you, lets go out and have dinner and I will let you know what is troubling me."

"No, I want to know what is troubling you now. Otherwise you can just drop me home."

With that, I took the turn and decided to drive her home. I told her en route that I do not think we could be together.

Of course she was not happy. She said that she had rejected two others already and how would they feel. One was earning RM13000/month and another was a surgeon. She did not like to hurt people. I wonder if she realized how much I went through in the 4 months with her.

So was it money? No, she says. It was not money. She never asked me to take her shopping, never asked to buy this buy that. But then I pointed to her, you ask me quite a lot about money.

She says, "I was just testing you, to see your answers. I am not that type of girl."

"Well, then why do you ask it and talk about it so frequently?"

"Why do you only listen? Why do you not see my actions? Actions speak louder than words. I have never asked you to take me out shopping or buy me expensive stuff."

So, eventually it is my fault for taking her to eat good food that she can only survive on, no others and they costs an expense. And then i will need to understand that actions speaks louder than words so therefore say what you mean & mean what you say means nothing at all.

I drive round her block about 20 times, because it was 10km later that I drop her. She was, of course, unhappy. But then I felt worse because I had to tell her that I did not think the relationship could work out.

She did not understand how I could be so cruel, but in me I felt that had I let this go on, it would have been suffering, perhaps for both of us. In that respect, I thought it better to end it and stay friends rather than moving forward dating and going to the next level.

Yup, it was an experience to learn from. Perhaps I had pampered her too much, gave her the comfortability that there was someone for her while she did not commit herself and also a guy too patient and refusing to argue. I guess all this added up to a wrong impression from her side and a wrong impression from my side eventually leading to a cannot work situation.

Anyhow, life goes on.

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Going on.....

I hadn't really finished yet in the last blog....There was still one thing that irked me the most....

I was told by my Christian brothers that I had to have a clear direction what i was doing here. Are you looking for a good time with a girl or are you looking for a life partner?

It's #2.

In fact, early on, on the 3rd date I told CF this.

"You know, actually I have been observing you for nearly a year. 8 months. Although then I did not say anything to you, I think you are pretty and I want to get to know you better. But its not just that. I am asking you out because I am interested in you, and slowly hope this friendship could move to relationship and from there to marriage. This is my intention. I am committed to you as long as we are in this together to form friendship and bond together."

She is quite surprised i think, but she said, "That's ok. I think that we should get to know each other much better first. But I am glad to know you are committted."

Some weeks down, she asks me, "Do you think I should be meeting other guys?"

"Are you? I thought you wanted to be committed."

"Actually my friends say I should not just commit like that to another guy. I should get to know more guys, see what other types of guys there are."

"Is that what your friends told you? Why would they tell you something like that?"

But the doubt this created in me was ---> You are seeing other people.

There was another time, during her father's funeral wake. Of course, I know this time is difficult for her. But here is the scenario of what happened......

Day#1: Please don't come tonight. It's the first night and I feel tired. I did not go, and my friend asked me how dumb I could be. Go, even if she says no.

Day#2: Yeah, its ok for you to come. So I go, sit for 1hour and then go home. My friend tells me you should go. Support her.

Day#3: So I go, eventhough she says you do not need to. But I go, and sit for 3 hours. I imagine she is happy. Everything goes well.

Day#4: No, I do not need to go again. But I go. She says, "You can stay for only 1 hour, then go home." So I go, chat with her. She is not happy tonight because:

- I could not get her body description correct.
- I described her wrongly in comparison to her sisters.

Each time I wanted to go off, she would ask me, "So why do you think I am petite?" or "Do you think my sister is taller?" So I stayed another 30 minutes in all.
- She later says that I overstayed my welcome and that I should have gone home at the appointed time.

She calls me later and then tells me off. Of course I keep quiet and just agree to all that she says since she is the one in distress. She finally gets annoyed and hangs down the phone.

Day#5: The funeral day. I did not go.

Reason 1: She was not in a good mood the previous night
Reason 2: My mom would not have wanted it, because that day she was praying to the Kitchen God.
Reason 3: I did not want to do something in secret and not tell my mom knowing full well my mom would not like it.

As a result......
CF: How come you did not come? Even my boss came. He is such a busy man, but he still came.

My thought: Ah....so your boss very important to you. In fact, every other time she brought out a topic about another man, it would be her boss..... ???

CF: Why you cannot do things for your ownself? You seem to be controlled by your mom. I don't care what she believes, whether go to the funeral already or not, have to use scented water to wash off. Are you really committed or not? You say you are committed to me, but do not seem like it. This is something I don't like. I don't like it in a guy. You cannot make decision for your ownself.

My thought: My gosh, you want me to disrespect my mom? You want me to make decisions that do not take into account what my mom thinks even though I live with my parents? Hmmm....

Everytime she spoke, she would tell me,

"Do you understand why I am telling you this? It is because I don't like the way you said it."
"I am saying this because I want you to understand that your thinking is not correct."
"I want to let you know that you need to improve your sensitivity. You are really insensitive towards me."

Finally, in the end.....Looking back from 2 posts ago and this one and adding up to the stress and unhappiness, and the control and the everything.....I decided....to pray & reflect.....

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In Between...

There's gonna be some shortage of illustrations in this few blogs....Its gonna be what the folks wanted to read....But this is my version. CF's version may vary too.

So in the 4 months....What did I gather about CF?

1. Strong willed

Her opinion is her opinion. You must be some straight 25A student with CGPA 10 to change her opinion. She will work things out logically and come to her logical conclusion but never thinking that even though her conclusion is logical, people's hearts sometimes make them make the illogical decision. Eventually, understanding is difficult. Seek to understand than to be understood. But she only wants to be understood.

2. Food

Of all the times I have taken her out to eat, we ended up in a kopitiam only once. And the koay teow thng there was considered unhealthy. She'd prefer the Amoy Road koay teow thng. Fish balls there are more healthy. Ok.....

Most of the time we go out for dinner.....I can name most of the places: Bella Italia, Yataimura, Aji Noren, Cuisine Bou, Food Loft, Sushi King, Manhattan Fish Market (unacceptably oily), 600cc, Ingolfe's.....Noticed there are no kopitiam, western food, bah kut teh, chu char....

It's all expensive. I tried asking Bah Kut Teh, Western Food, but we never did end up there. I would not survive the expenses.

The fun of eating is not just going to all these places, its going to all the places we had not gone.

3. My mom....

I love my mom very much. I respect her. I am also truthful to her. I strife and want to be a dutiful and filial son.

As part of a conversation that happens after I come home from dinner my mom, out of her concern, will ask, "So, where did you go to eat?"

I will dutifully reply. Of course if its an expensive place she would not mind. But if the list is like in #2, she will question the sanity of doing it.

CF did not like this line of questioning.

Q: "Why must your mom always ask you where did you go to eat?"
A: "Well, its part of the conversation we have when I get home after a date."

Q: "What is her business to know where you went to eat? What you eat and where you eat is not her concern mah."
A: "Oh well, she just wanted to make conversation, make sure I had a good time."

"I don't know. I think it will be difficult for me to get along with your mom. I hope in the future if you are my boyfriend or husband this will not happen."

4. Baptism

Q: "Are you baptise yet?"
A: "Errr...not yet. Is that a concern?"

Q: "Why are you not baptise yet? What is holding you back?"
A: "Oh well, just after CNY I had a conversation with my parents about baptism and they weren't too happy with it. So I let it lie quiet first."

"How come everything you do need to ask from parents? Want to eat somewhere also need to tell your mom? You don't have a mind of your own to make your own decisions one?"

"Well, its not like I must get baptise then can only serve God. In my heart I know I am Christian, I can also serve."

"If it was me, I will go ahead to get baptise. I just tell them. Whether they like it or not, it is my decision, my life. "

"Well, I need to respect my parents too."

"Who are you getting baptize for? God, right? Then why do you need your parents' permission?"

Errr.....Well, I did not know the answer, but I thought that one should live a life of respect for his or her parents to show them that being Christian does not take them away from their family. I mean, if i went ahead to get baptised, what kind of testimony would that give to my parents?

Eventually, these were some of the stuff that sort of got on to me. We never resolved it and I guess that's where my mistake lies. I don't think it would have been resolved easily. No matter how much I tried to talk to her about it, she would "test" me.

#1. Do you listen?
#2. Not willing to spend money for healthy food.
#3. Mom's a problem later on. You sure you can be independent?
#4. Can you make your own decisions one ah?

*sigh*.......

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June turned out like May

Just to clarify, both June and May are NOT any of my girlfriends. I do know people named June and also May, but June did turned out like May.......I blogged only ONCE....

So what happened?

CF's dad passed away and she was constantly taking care of her mom. Things did not turn out well and eventually I decided that I was not comfortable to move forward to a relationship.

So after 4 months, I had decided that at that point of time, she would not be the one I am looking for. Many (and i mean many) people have asked me what happened? So i will blog it here and send them to the blog when they should ask again.....

Lots of things. It was an accumulation of small little things that added up to become a burden to shoulder. It felt stressful when it should have been wonderful.

She consistently asks me if I am able to take care of her financially when I am her boyfriend. She asks if I will love her and 'sayang' her. Of course I will. Then she will tell me, "If you sayang me, and also keep me pretty, will you also finance my clothes and my beauty products? How much are you willing to provide for me, say monthly?"

I answer, "Mmmm....I am not your husband yet wor. Even as boyfriend, it should be minimal."

"But when you are my boyfriend, I will be really ready already. I don't give my heart away simply."

"Let's say about RM1000."

"Really? Ok."

Some days later, the whole conversation will take place again. And again. And again. Finally I decided to bring it down to RM600 to see her reaction.

I said something like, "Oh well, you know actually I have lots of commitment. House loan lah is about RM1000, car loan RM1000, phone bill, home Astro bill, money for my mom, so around RM600."

"RM600, is that minimum or maximum?" she'd ask. I replied, "Oh this is about minimum."

Then she says, "I guess that's ok. Maybe I can get more. Are you sweating already?"

Of course I am, but i say, "No lah, I told you how many times already. Do not worry. I will take good care of you one."

Some days later, she calls up as I am arriving to meet a friend at E-Gate for a cuppa at Starbucks.

At some point, the conversation turns to the above again!....

Of course, a nice guy also has a patience breaking point and I told her sternly and loudly, "I told you already, you don't have to worry and I will take care of you. Why do you keep asking me this question?"

"Are you shouting at me? I don't like the tone of your voice. Do you know that I really try to improve myself. I used to be impatient, now I am trying not to be angry. Why are you shouting at me?"

So replying softly, I say, "Look, why do you want to keep asking this question? I have already told you the answer."

"I am a girl. I have to take care of myself. I must be sure that you are the guy for me. If I don't ask, how will I know you are a good guy. I want to know what type of response you will give. There are many bad guys out there. In fact most of the guys out there are bad. There are only very few who are good. So I want to make sure that you really mean what you say."

I gave that a thought. Then I said, "So you are testing me?"

"Yes."

"I thought you said I cannot test you. You will be unhappy if I test you. But why are you testing me now? What difference is there between you and me?"

There was never an answer to that question. But in my heart I felt this would not work. She gave me the impression, with her words, that she was all for money. And that in testing me in a way gave me the feeling that she had no trust in me. No matter how much I cared for her, tried to answer her, looked for ways to resolve issues....IT WAS A HEADACHE.

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